adult bed time erotic story
The bizarre honeymoon crap
courtship of Kurt and Courtney
A blockbuster book says that late Nirvana
front man Kurt Cobain planned to divorce Courtney Love (here with baby Frances
Bean in 1993).
A
friend in your neighborhood? Friends to party.
All Amateur
Movies in the VIP -
See what you've always wanted to! Big
naturals Nothing but huge natural tits!
Wives in
Pantyhose HolesMikes
Apartment A guy & a demented dream. MILF
hunter Come see your mom!
Captain
Stabbin Girls & anal on the high sea!
By Jaclyn Moriarty Anansi, 424 pages, $24.95 found at
http://www.theglobeandmail.com
I
Have a Bed Made of Buttermilk Pancakes
Author: Jaclyn Moriarty;
I Have a Bed Made of Buttermilk Pancakes
is a perfect book for adult bed time erotic stories
I rarely laugh out loud at books that try to be comical, but Jaclyn
Moriarty's novel, I Have a Bed Made of Buttermilk Pancakes, is truly funny. The
story follows the Australian Zing family on a wild ride through their various
extramarital affairs and attractions, their seesawing disappointments and joys,
and leads right into the garden shed, where the mysterious Zing Family Secret is
discussed every Friday evening.
The secret is meant to tease us along through the tale -- what does it have
to do with pancakes and hot-air balloons and Grade 2 teachers? -- but until very
late in the novel, it gets lost in the zaniness of the story.
While Pancakes is a lovely, refreshing read, it is at times weighed down by
its own bells and whistles. The characters have names like Fancy (who writes
erotic fiction as well as lists of things she hates about her husband, Radcliffe)
and Marbie, short for Marbleweed (who drafts imaginary letters to the editor
about how much she adores her boyfriend, banana-bar-owner Vernon, and how
completely baffled she is when she finds herself in bed, time and again, with a
hairy aeronautical engineer known only as A. E.).
While for the most part the characters are well developed, their
eccentricities overwhelm them, and sometimes make one Zing blur into the next.
The silliness is non-stop, and made me both impressed by Moriarty's great
imagination and frustrated by the story. At times, I felt I was wandering
aimlessly through a suburbia of beanbags and banana fritters and unexpected
Sydney snowflakes, and I didn't know why.
The strange thing is, these bizarre details really do come together. What seems
inconsequential takes on meaning as the mystery unfolds, so that even a reader
who prides herself on figuring out the unfigure-outable well ahead of time will
be caught off guard by some of the twists and turns in this novel. There's a
Canadian connection, too, likely inspired by the fact that the Australian-born
Moriarty divides her time between Sydney and Montreal.
Woven through the Zings' antics is the story of Cath Murphy, the somewhat normal
(though vulnerable and desperate for love) Grade 2 teacher who falls for her
colleague, the lanky Warren (Wishful) Woodford. Their friendship escalates into
a full-blown affair, and provides a nice reprieve from the Zings, though the
littlest Zing, Cassie, is Cath's student, and chants words like
"eczema" and "scrotum" throughout the school day, giving
Cath cause for concern.
This is Moriarty's first adult novel, but she's written two others for young
adults, so it's not surprising that she's flawless with Alissa (Listen) Taylor,
banana-bar Vernon's sweet but friendless little sister, who feels, in the
playground, like a fading Christmas tree when the holiday has ended,
"foolishly conspicuous and perfectly invisible, both at once. . . . Her
arms were branches slung with rusting baubles, and strings of stale popcorn
dangled from her hair."
The poignancy of Listen's scenes stands out in this otherwise light, playful
novel. It's Listen who comes upon a book of spells that ties the whole story
together, though she doesn't know that the spells are in any way connected to
the family secret, or even to the family. Disillusioned as she is, she follows
the spell book's seemingly pointless instructions (a spell to make a vacuum
cleaner break, a spell to make someone take a taxi), and while the reader sees
the spells exploding in the lives of the Zings et al., Listen doesn't, and sinks
deeper into despair, believing the world is void of magic, and composing a list
of things that make her sad.
I like more listen and less zing when it comes to books, and I would not call I
Have a Bed Made of Buttermilk Pancakes a fairytale, as the book jacket does.
Fairytales may well be strewn with spells and sparks of magic, but they are
always shot through with something dark and disturbing, and this book, with all
its mystery, its deceits and betrayals, doesn't have that black vein.
Nonetheless, Moriarty has taken some huge original steps, and writes with a
smooth style all her own. Her novel may not make you fly, make you strong, mend
your broken heart -- as Listen's spell book claims to do -- but it will almost
certainly make you laugh, and ponder the hot-air balloon more closely than
before. For that, it's well worth the ride.
Kristen den Hartog is the author of Water Wings, The Perpetual Ending and, most
recently, Origin of Haloes.
Deliberate
Orgasm Duet