african lesbians

Lipstick lesbians 

Last Updated on January 12, 2007, 12:00 am found at eastandard.net By Caroline Wahome and Tony Mochama

african lesbians Esther was transferred to a girl’s only boarding school when in Class Four. It was while in Standard Six that one of her friends from a senior class started acting in a manner that suggested that something was not very straight. It started by mere "friendship notes." To Esther, it never occurred there was more to the notes than met the eye. Only 12 then, she innocently welcomed these notes and was glad to have such a caring friend. The notes continued flowing but one more thing came along. "This girl, (let’s call her Abyssinia) became very cuddly. "She would hug me too tightly and it only hit me later that she would press against my breasts real hard."

Esther explains that she realised that she used to experience a tinge in her breast (being at puberty and having just began prepubescent blooming!) every time she got a hug from Abyssinia. Still she never put much thought to it.

However, one night, a free Saturday, (they never had evening studies in those days), they were relaxing in the dormitory when a power blackout occurred. Abyssinia, under the guise of darkness, kissed her lightly and lingeringly on the lips, and then pulled away. "I stood there in shock not knowing what to do or say," recalls Esther.

It was only after that incident that she came to the realisation that the letters and hugs had a sexual connotation. "Luckily, it was almost end of third term and since she was in Class Eight I did not get to see her once school closed," notes Esther.

The rest of Esther’s primary education went on well without farther incidence but she never talked about it to her parents or teachers. "My parents did not involve me in social talk and having not been free with them to discuss such a weird issue, I kept it to myself," she says.

But it seems bad karma was with Esther, as she was not spared a similar incident once in high school. This time she knew better. "I joined a high school in Thika. Before I joined, people used to tell me that most of the girls there were lesbians and that the seniors targeted Form Ones." Having been warned and tied to her earlier experience, Esther became extra cautious when making friends.

"The seniors, though, knew that a Form One needed to be shown how to survive in the school by getting good mattresses, for example. Before one realised what was happening at times it would be too late as part of their orientation strategy was sexual!"

A Form Three girl targeted Esther and made life for her a Tom-and-Jerry affair, like the hungry cat that’s after the sweet canary. She stayed away and vowed to only make friends with her fellow classmates.

But Esther was not alone. Two of her friends in high school had also been approached sexually by their seniors, but managed to evade any serious sexual developments in a queer direction!

Many of these girls go on to colleges where lesbian tendencies are manifest and dominant, and they set about seducing other girls with all the keenness of male courtiers, sometimes with shocking skill surpassing that of the clueless college lads.

Juliet, a short hot lass who looks like someone out of a music video due to her sexy curves, just recently graduated from the University of Nairobi, and tells Pulse her story.

"I joined campus together with my best friend from high school called Martha, with whom we shared everything – including a campus room in Box.

On joining Camp-o, I fell for this tall dude called Edu who had a rep as a player, but I thought I could tame him. One afternoon, I skipped a Campus class coz I was having a splitting headache and returned to my room only to find Edu and Martha ‘catching strokes’ (having sex).

They were so busy they didn’t even hear the key or see me until I had caught them red-handed in the act. And not even on her bed. My teenie and my best pal were catching on MY bed. Maybe it gave them a kick, I donno!"

Anyway, Juliet threw them out of her room and her life that day, but was very depressed. That was until her new roommate, Della, moved in. Says Juliet: "She listened to all my problems and consoled me and we became very close and tight." Soon, the two girls were in a lesbian liaison, and although many of their classmates suspected, they just did not care.

Now that they are through with college, what’s the future? Juliet smiles: "There’s this guy, a doctor, who was after me through out last year. Della feared and hated him, but I thought he was cute and intelligent and this December, went down to Coast-o for a fortnight’s holiday with him; and now I want to be with him!"

Della took the news of their "break-up" very badly and feels betrayed, but Juliet says she had to choose to "go straight or go gay" and although she’ll forever treasure Della for seeing her through the blues of college in 2005-2006, she’s now ready to give "men a second chance."

Away from school, lesbianism is now a fad! The majority associating themselves in it are doing so just to fit in social circles or just to be "with it" or "in vogue." Mary, 23, is one of them. She was introduced to the game by one of her girlfriends and it had now become part of her life. "I had never thought I would be a lesbian but I like the stuff we do," she says. It all started at a house party to which she had accompanied her friend.

She found other two other girls who looked very cosy together and as the night went by, her friend would caress her fingers, neck, cheeks and arms. She did not mind the touch, she says, and before the night was over, they had delved deeper into deep kissing. "We were both drunk, it felt good and I have been doing it ever since and gone the extra mile," confesses Mary.

"Will you be a lesbian all your life?" I ask her. "I really don’t think so. I’m in this for the fun of it and once I get a man who suits me I’ll be off with him and off with it."

Mercy, a baby-faced beauty of 20 with big eyes and an Afro-hairstyle- like- it’s-1976, is right in the thick of things when it comes to matters lesbian.

"It’s very cool now to be a lipstick lesbian," she says, "or at least bi-sexual."

She boasts having organised very many "Girls’ Only" parties, including at rich older women’s houses when their boyfriends, are not there, or even when husbands have travelled on business.

"We just put wine and spirits together, dildos and vibrators and then see what goes down." Mercy says with a sly smile that is at odds with her wide, innocent eyes. "Sometimes if we think a guy or two are cool enough not to go ape-shit, crazy and obsessive over the issue, and will be just easy and submissive and serve us girls, then we’ll invite them for these do-do bashes of ours.

Me and six of my girls once had two dudes over. It was the best night of their lives. One said he’d die with a smile on his face thinking of what happened at his place (his girlfriend, an air-stewardess whom he suspected was cheating on him with some pilot, was away in Dubai). It was sweet revenge for him, and just as sweet meat for his pal. Otherwise, it’s just us gals."

Carol is in another category. At 29 and a single mother of one, she says she appreciates women’s bodies and if she sees one she likes, she does not hesitate to pass her compliments.

She also does all the usual things guys do in their voyeuristic manner – sizing up the faces, breasts, legs and asses of other lasses. She adds that she also does not mind an occasional kiss from a fellow woman, and recently startled a fellow journalist lady she had been dancing with by squeezing her bottoms hard on the dance floor. "I had had way too much to drink," Carol admits.

A journalist who sought anonymity said her encounter with lesbians was at a drinking spree at a friend’s house. One girl walked to her and said she liked her.

She brushed it off thinking it was a joke but the girl got physical and the two ended up kissing. But why did she go on to kiss the girl back? "I was curious and wanted to feel what it was like," confesses the journalist. "I enjoyed it and have no regrets," she adds. After the kiss, the girl asked her if she was willing to switch (to being lesbian) but she declined.

Much more serious lesbian affairs exist in the lexicon of sexology in this country.

Mawreen, now in her mid-thirties and half-Arab-half-Swahili, was married to a businessman who brought in another woman (let’s call her Emma) as a second wife after they had been married for five years and she was paged with their first child.

"I was 30. Emma was eight years younger than I and our husband was already discussing having two more wives by the time he was 50, yet he was barely 35."

In a twist straight out of a perverted soap opera, the two women ganged up to divorce the fellow and are now living together, as lesbians and lovers, and "bringing up their daughter" who is five now and says she has "two mommies."

Our local celebrities have not been left out either in this trend. Karen Lucas, popularly known as Kaz, was quoted to have said that she does not see anything wrong with girl-to-girl action.

Serah Mwihaki, Laura Walubengo, Nini Wacera and Valentine Njoroge’s close friendship has raised eyebrows, but they maintain that there is nothing more than meets the eye. Even when asked about an incident where Nini and Valentine were seen kissing in a club, Nini responded saying that there was nothing wrong with them kissing. "It’s just an exchange of saliva which is very therapeutic!" she said.

Nini has also been quoted saying that she is neither a lesbian nor bisexual but she admires women’s bodies because they are ‘great’.

Serah Mwihaki, who became popular after the release of the local movie, Dangerous Affair, also denies claims and says the only time she kissed another woman was six years ago, and only did it out of curiosity.

Serah dismissed claims that she and her girlfriends were lesbians as "total bullshit". Laura Walubengo has also denied being a lesbian and said she had flings with men so she could not be a lesbian, yet has been, on several occasions, been spotted exclusively with women, including a young and controversial, if talented, radio chic whom she treats and buys drinks for like a jamaa.

But the question remains, can one be born a lesbian? According to Tabitha Murungu, a Nairobi based counsellor, there are two types of people — liberals and conservatives. Liberals believe that people can be born lesbian while conservatives are bound by their religious beliefs and believe that lesbianism is ungodly and should not exist.

Research show that the cause of lesbianism come from isolation from one sex for a prolonged period of time, marital affairs gone sour — where one completely loses trust in the opposite sex — painful past like molestation that turns one off men, sheer curiosity and being experimental out of a keen sense of adventurism.

Tabitha confirms the research finding as she says most of her clients say they got into lesbianism as a result of curiosity, victims of bad relationships and those who got into it as a result of being in a same sex school (girls or boys only).

Being a conservative, she reckons that the only way to avert lesbianism is to educate children about it so that they can make sound decisions. She also notes that lesbianism is on the increase due to availability of pornographic materials, especially on the Internet.

Eugenia, a girl in her mid-twenties who is in the media, is quite happy to say that "blue movies" influenced her preference for sex with women – "even if men are also okay."

"When I was 15, I found a video cassette of about two hours of gal-on-gal action hidden under my older brother’s mattress and watched it.

"It was the most exciting stuff I had ever seen! I felt so hot and the next time my dad and bro were out (my mom died when I was ten of Aids, but my dad somehow didn’t get it), I convinced the maid who was kedo 18 that we should replicate the moves in the video.

Later, I seduced a girl in the neighbourhood, then later still younger girls in high school, then college. Even now, as a working girl, I find myself regularly tuning other women just for the heck of it. Rubs with women are fun. Less stress, physically, although hard-core dykes can be more jealous and psycho than a heterosexual.

Lesbos tend to be very possessive, so I avoid the butch ones – and just stick to ‘lipstick girls’ who just wanna have some fun!"

Research says that "natural" lesbianism starts when a woman feels love and affection for another woman, and also feels sexually attracted to her.

A lipstick lesbian is slang for a feminine homosexual woman who is attracted to another feminine woman, rather than a lesbian who is attracted to a more masculine woman, such as in a "butch and femme"-type relationship.

It is also used to describe a homosexual (or bisexual) woman who exhibits feminine gender expression, a woman who wears make-up (thus, lipstick), dresses or skirts, and perhaps takes on other characteristics associated with feminine women.

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