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The term was coined by podcaster Cunning Minx (polyweekly.libsyn.com)
to stand for "women who are mostly straight but who are really, really
into women's breasts." I've expanded it to include gay men. This new
breed is committed to their sexual orientation, but acknowledges that, like
the horniest of frat boys or Hooters customers, they're turned on by tits.
Matthew, a graphic artist, describes himself as a "gay tit man."
He explains, "Despite always knowing that my only sexual attraction is to
men, I can remember having an appreciation, or downright fetish, for women's
breasts my entire life." What does this all mean? Some would posit that
breasts are so ubiquitous, people from across the sexual spectrum are bound to
want to touch them—a consumerist notion of sexuality. But I think it's
deeper, because it doesn't automatically make sense that gay men or straight
women would want to touch, feel, and ogle women's boobs. Breasts may remind us
of being babies needing food, represent contrast to the firmness of cocks, or
just draw the eye when presented as if on a platter. Boob worship isn't
universal, though; some people, even straight guys and dykes, prefer other
body parts.
Who better to consult about breast love than the World FamousBOB(worldfamousbob.com),
who was awarded "Best Tits" by the Voice in 2002? She sports
34DD boobs, down from an F cup after recent weight loss. The renowned
burlesque performer sprouted her massive bosoms at the age of eight. Eight!
Since then, she's gained fame using her breasts to make martinis onstage,
which landed her on A&E's History of Cleavage. She learned early on
where her power lay. "I wasn't always comfortable with my figure but I
always thought that my breasts were my visual strengths," saysBOB*.
Boobiesexuals mess with our strictly defined norms. What does it mean to be
aroused by a woman, or at least her tits, but not want to have sex with her?
They counter our very simplistic ideas about lust—if you're into me, you
must want to fuck me—when true desire is more complex. Minx, who's in an
open relationship, believes that kinky and polyamorous people are open to
nuanced views of eroticism. "Sexual labels are convenient; it's much
easier to say, 'I'm bisexual' than to say, 'I'm mostly straight and really
into cocks, but I've been with a woman once or twice and can take or leave it,
except for the breasts, which I grope at every opportunity . . . and it's
entirely possible that I simply haven't met the right woman,' " she
explains.
Matthew's thought about breasts enough to have likes and dislikes.
"I'm definitely into big, preferably natural, titties. I'm very attracted
to powerful women with large breasts, who know what they have and love to show
them off," he tells me. "A nice pair in a corset or push-up bra is
extremely hot. I also love watching a woman squeeze them together, or lift and
adjust them." Lucky for him, we both recently attended a vintage lingerie
party called Hot and Nasty, where almost every girl was sporting a bust-baring
garment—it was nonstop tits on parade.
According toBOB*, "Gay men are drawn to extreme forms of
femininity—the whole blonde-bombshell, big-boobs, small-waist look. That
stereotype is very attractive to them, as it is to me." She says it's
usually not erotic per se, but isn't surprised when boobs are a turn-on for
fags—"just because you don't like the main course doesn't mean you
wouldn't enjoy a side dish." Her favorite thing about performing for
queer crowds? "I feel at home when I'm in a room full of people who know
what it's like to not fit in. I'm 5'11" with 34DDs—when I see other
people who don't fit the mold, I know it's gonna be a good time."
Women have complicated relationships with their breasts. We like them, but
we'd also like them to be bigger or smaller, more symmetrical, perkier. One of
my best friends invariably sports breasts that look like they're going to
attack you (she claims it's her bra), while others do all they can to hide
them. Breasts are so fetishized, we're bound to be confused, liking the
attention they garner but wanting to be known for more than our cup size.
Appreciating a woman's breasts isn't always simple either. Boobiesexuals'
tit- illation strikes me as qualitatively different from straight men's. They
may all appreciate a site like breastlove.blogspot.com, but straight men often
seem helpless at the sight of a woman's well-developed tatas (not that there's
anything wrong with that). Boobiesexuals don't need breasts for sexual
satisfaction in the same way. It's an added bonus, an extra set of jugs on top
of whatever they're already juggling.
Minx is matter-of-fact about her boob lust, as if it's the standard rather
than the deviation. "What's not to love? They're soft, squishy, and
comforting. I did a fabulous scene in which a friend caned my ass while I lay
on top of his half-clothed wife. I could muffle my screams into her voluptuous
cleavage. Her breasts were the perfect gag," she proclaims. "One of
my favorite things to do is to rub my own breasts against another woman's,
especially if hers are larger and natural."
My straight friend "Amy" knows exactly what Minx is talking
about. She told me exuberantly, "I love boobs. If I were a guy I would be
completely obsessed—I would try to touch and play with them as much as
possible. I love playing with guys' nipples because they're the next closest
thing. You could call me a closet boob whore."
Some breast lovers feel bigger is better, but I'd like to think that
boobiesexuals have a more inclusive relationship to breasts. They're not just
pinching our nipples to get us turned on during foreplay or asking us to get
implants; many genuinely appreciate our chests in all their
variety.BOBexplains why breasts are beautiful: "It's absolutely not the
physical characteristics. What makes a great pair of breasts is the person
carrying them. You can buy a great pair, but you can't buy personality,
charisma, or a sense of humor—the three sexiest things any man or woman with
a pair of breasts can have."
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