dating tips manual

What kind of place do you like to take a woman when you get together with her for the first time?

You have three different choices when you decide to get together with a woman:

1. Go into a situation that she is familiar with and you are not, such as meeting her at one of her hangouts when she is out with friends.

2. Take her into a situation that both of you are unfamiliar with, such as dinner at a new place where both of you haven't eaten before.

3. Take her into a situation that you are very familiar with, such as out with you and your friends at one of your "spots." Out of these three options, the third is by far the best.

By taking her into your reality, you are letting her in on a piece of your life. She'll get to see what you like to do and what your friends are like, plus you'll be giving her the benefit of a new experience in a place where you are comfortable, relaxed, and at your best.

Bring a woman into your reality and she is guaranteed to see you as a great guy who can enrich her life, and that is what all women are really looking for.

How can a guy expand his social network and increase his chances of meeting women?

I recommend taking up new activities to meet some interesting people.

The great thing here is that you already have something in common with them, and it's something fun and exciting. 

How this will have a positive influence on your life, when to get physical with a woman, and how to boost your confidence...

How many days should a guy wait to call a woman?

I think that this is one of the funniest questions I hear on a regular basis. I mean, haven't you watched Swingers?

My rule of thumb is to wait at least one day, but not more than a few. The real key is how often you call her and, more importantly, what you say when you call.

But let's talk about the psychology of why women give out their phone numbers, and why I personally like to get e-mail addresses.

You must remember that beautiful women are being approached all the time by men, in one way or another. They have an unlimited supply of guys to choose from.

I think that a lot of women who give out their numbers, then respond by being flaky when you call, are doing something that many of us guys wouldn't have thought of in a million years:

I think they're making themselves feel good.

Explained differently, I think that many women who give out their numbers are looking for the self-image-boosting hit of power that comes from having a lot of men calling them -- men that they have the power to accept or reject.

They can also use it to get attention from friends: "All these guys just keep calling me! Why don't they just leave me alone? Don't they get the hint?"

Now, don't get me wrong. I know that this sounds a little bit negative, and I don't mean to say that all women do this, or that all women are bad, etc.

To me, it's just part of the real world that you need to learn to accept and deal with, which leads me to why I get e-mail addresses.

How can a guy with a "boring" lifestyle become more attractive to women?

The single most important thing you can do in your life -- both for yourself and when it comes to attracting women -- is to become an interesting guy.

The easiest way to do this is to "err on the side of action." What that means is to take advantage of every opportunity that comes your way.

If you come to a fork in the road, take it. If you are deciding whether or not to take a trip, go! Deciding whether to eat somewhere new or go to your same old favorite spot? Try something new!

The more you do this, the more you will enrich your life with experiences... and gain wisdom and knowledge that will make women want to know more about you.

And the more experiences you have, the more interesting things you will have to talk about with women... and the more likely you will be to relate to something they have done.

For example, when she says, "That reminds me of a place in Europe," you can say, "Oh yeah... I know what you mean."

When she tells you she loves Greek food, you can tell her about that wonderful little place you discovered that day when you decided to drive past your favorite spot and find something new.

Remember; we never regret the things we do -- only the things we haven't done. Start to live this every single day, and you'll be amazed at just how quickly women notice.

You've mentioned in the past that a man needs to be a "leader" when he is with a woman in order to create attraction. How important is this?

Well, think about it this way: Women hate to make decisions.

You know how they say that women constantly change their minds about everything? Well, it's absolutely true.

Women can make decisions, but they don't like to -- which is exactly why women love a man who is decisive.

Let women talk and help

Women love to talk (just think of how long they talk on the telephone). Women like to help (just think of a typical "female" job: nurse, kindergarten teacher, geriatric nurse...). Combine those attributes and you got a talk up and running by asking the woman: "Could I ask you for help? Could you tell me why/what/how/...". Ask her any question you like as long as the question is non-answerable by a simple "Yes" or "No".

Believe it or not, but maybe you have failed in your last dating attempt because you maneuvered yourself into dead-end answers. If you ask a girl "Have you been long here?" then practically anything she can answer is a dead end.  She could answer "No, not long" or "A couple of minutes" but both answers do not lead into a nice conversational flow.

Many men (since men are practical-minded) want a "clear and simple" answer. For dating purposes that kind of "questioning strategy" is absolutely wrong.
Train by simply re-phrasing some of your question. Wrong: "Do you like this place?", right: "What do you think about this place?". You get the idea. In other words: Let her TALK. (This is just a simple example and I am not telling you to ask women that question).

Or ask her something like: "What do you think is the most common flaw men have?" or "I am writing for dating-forum.com. Could you help me by telling me what feature your ideal man should have?". Let her talk for hours.

Typical "open questions" start with

It's been proven that one of the biggest causes of unhappiness occurs when people take things personally that they shouldn't.

This can happen when a restaurant messes up your order, when a place you really want to go to is closed on that particular day, or when a woman rejects your attempt to start a conversation with her.

None of these things are personal attacks on you. So instead of letting them affect your self-esteem, give yourself credit where credit is due.

If you approach a woman and she doesn't want to talk to you, give yourself credit for trying.

You don't know what's going on in her life -- she could have a boyfriend, or just be having a bad day. Either way, it's not you.

Pat yourself on the back, and move on.

What would you say is the key to attracting high-quality women?

To attract a high-quality woman, a man needs to build a high-quality life for himself.

Sometimes this is hard for a lonely guy to understand. As a man, it's almost natural to feel as though a great woman will be the answer to all of your problems.

But here's the ironic part... Although this might seem true, the fact is that the feeling of needing a woman to solve all of your problems creates problems with every woman you meet.

This week's Q&A focuses on men who are natural pickup artists, just being yourself with women, why women are attracted to jocks, and how to read body language like a pro. David DeAngelo, author of Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women, has your answers.

Why is it that some men are just "naturals" at attracting women?

While I do know some men who are no doubt "naturals" when it comes to attracting women, I also know a lot of guys who are considered by most to be naturals but who actually made themselves so by cultivating the qualities inside themselves that are attractive to women.

Yes, you read that right. Naturals can be created. And you can do it.

We all have to learn how to socialize, deal with women and make the most of our lives.

So start by doing all you can to make yourself great in your own eyes...

That might mean working out and eating right, learning to play an instrument or learning a second language, taking a trip to a foreign country, or working with a charity to do some good in the world.

When you do these things, women will notice. And as you take the steps to make your life great and improve yourself as a person, you'll start to notice that your life -- and especially your dating life -- is exponentially better and more fulfilling.

You always hear women say "just be yourself" when asked about what a guy should do to attract them. Well, what if "yourself" isn't that attractive to women?

The phrase "be yourself" could easily be called the "universal" dating advice for men.

But what does this really mean?

What a woman wants is for you to be your real self… the person you are around your family and your buddies.

Here's an example:

When you were a kid, playing a game with friends and your mom would yell, "Come home for dinner," of course you would say, "I'm almost done with the game mom. I'll be there when I'm finished!"

But then when you grow up and an attractive woman says, "Go to the bar and get me a drink," you say, "Right away dear!"

Any tips for creating attraction with a woman when you are out together for the first time?

A very simple way to let your woman know that she is in the hands of a real man is to be chivalrous when you are out on the town.

Open doors for her, and always be sure to walk on the outside of the curb.

If some shady people cross your path, position yourself between them and her. This is all simple stuff, but you'd be surprised how many men forget it completely.

But this is, of course, good news for you. Because guys who do remember this stuff and practice it are handsomely rewarded.

Should a guy "make a move" the first time he is out with a woman?

Did you know that women hate when a guy they are attracted to doesn't make a move?

Yes, in some cases, you can use this to build anticipation and make her want you more, but eventually you must take the initiative and make something happen.

When a woman is really into a guy and he doesn't try to sleep with her, it makes her feel less attractive.

She also worries that you might not have the confidence to make a move, which makes you look less attractive.

Combine these two things together and the result is not good.

Remember this: She is not going to do it for you.

Alex put it very well when he said, "If you take off a woman's pants, she feels sexy, but if she has to take off her own pants, she feels like a slut."

Which option do you think a woman prefers?

Now, just because you make a move does not mean she's going to give in and sleep with you on the first night.

But she definitely wants you to try.

So don't let her down. Don't be a wuss. Make a move!

I'm thinking of taking a woman on a date. Any recommendations?

Think "emotionally stirring" and maybe even "dangerous." Roller coasters are great.

Something physical where you are the expert is also a great move. Do you like to rollerblade or ride a bike? Perfect.

Think about the unpredictability, danger and excitement that women love about "bad boys" -- these are great ways to give her the same feelings and emotions without being a jerk yourself.

Remember: It's not the "bad" that she likes; it's those qualities that coincidentally tend to go with so many bad boys that give her the feelings of excitement.

They say that women are attracted to guys that remind them of their "daddy." Is there any truth to this?

If your gonna pic up girls this hot you gotta be a pimp and a player there's no doubt about it!

Well, what's more important are the qualities that "daddy" represents. A woman loves to be treated like she's a little girl.

Women want men who are stronger than they are. They also want a man who can take care of them, but not necessarily financially.

She also wants to feel that he is not dependent on her in any way.

When a woman is with this kind of man, it makes her feel secure and taken care of. And that leads to massive attraction.

Cultivate these three great "daddy" characteristics to make her melt:

1. Be judgmental

When interacting with a woman, appreciate her, but also judge her. It may seem counterintuitive, but being judgmental is good. It lets her know that you have other options and that you have high standards.

And because it's a "daddy" thing to be judgmental, it makes her respect you and feel more secure.
So should a guy make an effort to learn "pickup lines," or does that stuff not really work when it comes to meeting women?

Many guys put too much emphasis on learning "lines" and "techniques" when they are first starting down the path to success with women.

Lines and techniques can be helpful when you're first starting out... and some of them work pretty damn well!

But the truth is you won't achieve the massive success you desire until it comes from inside of you.

I've begun to see a pattern that almost all guys go through when learning this stuff:

Stage 1: Uses the lines and techniques he learns to "get out there" and get started. Experiences some success, and learns a lot.

Stage 2: Internalizes the right attitudes and beliefs, and starts to experience "natural success." Uses lines every once in a while, but doesn't rely on them.

Stage 3: Learns to attract women naturally and effortlessly. Makes up his own lines and techniques as he goes.

Keep this in mind, and use the lines and techniques you learn as "training wheels" to help take you to where you want to be… but make your ultimate goal to become a guy who "naturally" attracts women.

What's the right attitude to have when you are meeting a woman?

You should be totally detached from the "outcome" of any situation with a woman.

What that means is that no matter what she says or does, your life goes on the same way.

If a woman rejects you, it is no big deal.

If a woman goes home with you, it is also no big deal.

Try to become the guy who doesn't care either way. This attitude of indifference is magnetically attractive to women.

They can sense it the moment they start talking to a man.

But this isn't a way you can "act" or something you can say. It has to come from inside of you.

Make it a point to avoid the "scarcity" way of thinking at all costs.

Stay committed to your overall goal of success with women, but don't worry about success with any one woman.

There will always be another. Always.

Magnetic Mystery Man

Many women don't simply date YOU. They date a mysterious man who actually happens to walk by with your body. Thus clouding yourself in a mystery can help. If you walk in and the girl thinks "Wait a minute, who is this man??" then you have already hit the first target. "Aroused by curiosity" so to speak. You could tell things from your life, but without giving the full background just to "mysteriousify" yourself . You could say, "I saved many lives of stray cats... these poor little creatures." (only if it's true, of course) but not telling WHY. She wouldn't know whether you are a veterinarian or a fireman or whatever. Woman LIKE to be in a wonderworld with their fantasies going (= too much information spoils fantasies). 

Don't shout, don't interrupt

If you watch TV talks closely you will notice that women are nearly always interrupted by men but not vice versa. Try to be different in that regard. Do not shout, do not interrupt a woman.

Let women talk and help

Women love to talk (just think of how long they talk on the telephone). Women like to help (just think of a typical "female" job: nurse, kindergarten teacher, geriatric nurse...). Combine those attributes and you got a talk up and running by asking the woman: "Could I ask you for help? Could you tell me why/what/how/...". Ask her any question you like as long as the question is non-answerable by a simple "Yes" or "No".

Believe it or not, but maybe you have failed in your last dating attempt because you maneuvered yourself into dead-end answers. If you ask a girl "Have you been long here?" then practically anything she can answer is a dead end.  She could answer "No, not long" or "A couple of minutes" but both answers do not lead into a nice conversational flow.

Many men (since men are practical-minded) want a "clear and simple" answer. For dating purposes that kind of "questioning strategy" is absolutely wrong.
Train by simply re-phrasing some of your question. Wrong: "Do you like this place?", right: "What do you think about this place?". You get the idea. In other words: Let her TALK. (This is just a simple example and I am not telling you to ask women that question).

Or ask her something like: "What do you think is the most common flaw men have?" or "I am writing for dating-forum.com. Could you help me by telling me what feature your ideal man should have?". Let her talk for hours.

Typical "open questions" start with