Mia
Gets Pounded From The Ice Cream Store Money Talks!
On our latest adventures of Money Talks,
we go out and find a crazy biker willing to take a kids big wheel bike off a
ramp. Then we head over to the madness on the beach and get so Release
Date:Mar 23, 2007
Money
talks is the crasiest new reality website of the Bang Bros Brothers.
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Money talks Pillow Talk
The TV presenter and comedian advises readers as Weekend's
agony aunt
Dear Graham
I'm a successful single man in my mid 40s with one major
problem: I'm chronically unsuccessful with women. Every now and then a girl
takes pity and kisses me after one too many Champagne cocktails, but that's
about as far as it goes.
If only, like Martin Amis in his university days, there was a
Tina Brown out there to rescue me. But even though I have a large circle of
friends, no such woman has appeared. It's as if women can smell my desperation.
I am not ugly or overweight. Nor do I have halitosis or BO. I
just somehow lack the love hormones that attract people to one another. Taking
girls out for expensive dinners doesn't seem to do the trick. It seems that
something extreme is called for, but I'm not sure what.
Do you have any advice?
Marcus TW, Cirencester
Dear Marcus
I'd love to be able to play the piano, but I can't. Wowing the
crowd with a power ballad is a world denied to me. The thought of throwing a
ball, even for my dog, is enough to keep me housebound for several days. The
point is this: there are all sorts of people that we would like to be, but there
comes a time in life when we must accept that it will never happen.
Somehow you have become a well-adjusted successful man who
just happens to be fairly resistible to women. There are two courses of action.
First: focus on what you enjoy in your life and what you like about yourself. As
soon as you seem relaxed and content in your own skin, people will feel more at
ease around you and women may even begin to find something attractive about you.
The second course of action is much simpler: just aim lower - way lower. If you
really are as desperate as you suggest, don't be too proud to pick up the human
scraps that have fallen from life's table. Never underestimate the pure
unadulterated pleasure of "grateful" sex.
Dear Graham
My live-in girlfriend and I have just started having
counselling together every Tuesday evening. I reluctantly agreed to it, partly
out of guilt and partly just to get her off my back.
The awful truth is that I don't fancy her any more. We don't
get on and no amount of psychobabble is going to save us. I don't think I can
endure another evening staring at wilting pot plants, while my girlfriend sobs
angrily into a box of tissues.
The problem is I'm being portrayed by the counsellor as the
baddie in this relationship, because I don't pay my girlfriend enough attention
or listen to her ''needs''.
But the truth is I want to break up with her, so of course I'm
not going to bother with any of that stuff. How can I extricate myself from this
awful situation?
Daniel G, London
Dear Daniel
You have touched a nerve. My views on this subject may be
controversial but, as far as I can see, couple counselling is just a very
expensive prolonged way of breaking up. By the time you agree to the counselling,
the relationship is doomed.
And the one thing that you want the counsellor to confirm -
that the relationship is finished - is the one thing that won't occur. Why's
that? Because if you have to go back the following week, the counsellor gets
paid more.
I imagine that the success rate of couple counselling would be
zero except that some of them are so annoying that they make you think the
person you are with isn't so bad after all. All you can do at this point is use
your next hour productively. The minute you get in there, just state that you
want the relationship to end and you see no future for it. Essentially, dump
your girlfriend in front of someone else and try to think of the cost as the
money you would have spent on a meal, had you taken her out to do it.
Then make plans for every Tuesday for the rest of your life. I
only wish you'd written to me sooner.
Dear Graham
My girlfriend had a complete fit after discovering a series of
suggestive texts from an ex of mine on my mobile phone. She's not the snooping
type, but stumbled on the texts by accident when she was collecting my stolen
mobile from the police station.
My relationship with my ex was completely different - very
much about sex and not much else, and our texts were therefore pretty X-rated.
My current girlfriend is decent, honest and open. I'm very
much in love with her - and I want this relationship to work. I wish I'd deleted
those messages, but at the end of the day it's just my past. How can I convince
her and banish her insecurities?
Luke T, Nottingham
Dear Luke
We all have pasts. Our partners might not like it, but it's a
fact. If you had a tattoo of your previous girlfriend on your arm, I'm sure it
would be a problem, but somehow your new love would understand and learn to live
with it. Why? Because it would be really hard to remove.
The upsetting thing about the sexy texts isn't their existence
but the fact that you were too stupid and lazy to delete them. It's the rather
dreary domestic equivalent of Tommy Lee leaving his Pamela Anderson video lying
around the bedroom. No new girlfriend will ever think that's cute or funny -
just rude and disrespectful.
If you really do love your girlfriend as much as you say,
don't try to defend yourself or expect her to understand. Go to her and
apologise. Tell her what you've told me - that you wish you had deleted them.
Take full responsibility for being an idiot and I'm sure
she'll find it in her heart to forgive and forget. Relationships are such huge,
unpredictable minefields and we
should never, ever neglect the explosive devices we can
defuse.
Deliberate
Orgasm Duet