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With the advent of the internet and the avalanche of pornography options it offers, the concept of phone sex lines seems almost quaint or perhaps outmoded.

found at blogs.smh.com.au

However, if this touching photo-essay from San Francisco-based Mother Jones Magazine is any reflection of the masturbating demographic, there's still plenty of men (and women) who view phone-sex operators as a desirable outlet for their fantasies.  (The images and text in this photo essay are taken from the book Phonesex, which will be published in September 2008 by Twin Palms. Photographs by Phillip Toledano )

 

The cliché of a hormonal young man bothering himself to the musings of a syrupy-voiced woman, who says she's a down-on-her-luck model/stripper but is actually a 100kg mum cooking dinner for her kids, would seem to hold true as well.

Reading the captions to this fantastic set of pictures, I couldn't help but marvel at the incredible variations in human sexuality, as well as the poignant attempts so many of us make to feel close to people, even if it's a stranger at the end of the phone line ...

By far the saddest of the shots has to be of a wheelchair-bound operator who makes the chilling admission that "just last night I received possibly the most disturbing phone sex call I'd had in a long time."

"A caller shot himself with me on the phone," she says.

You have to wonder at the emptiness of a person's life when they have to dial a tug-number so someone can bear witness to the end of their life, but it says something about the human need for companionship - it's with us to the last.

What I found fascinating about the comments from the operators was the ones that admitted the job had increased their self-esteem or that they'd found their own sexual expression through phone sex.

"When I first started I was nervous," says one operator, "but after a while, I guess you could say the kinkier the talk, the more I was like, wow! Let's just say I have found myself and my sexuality through this."

Their admissions are also a reminder that when it comes to sex, the brain and our imagination are the most powerful aphrodisiacs.

Says another operator: "I am the inanimate Barbie. I breathe life into the fantasy, I carve the doll out of flesh."

While another takes us back to the days of radio plays where "to simulate a bed rocking, you can use certain things to cause that sound, like knocking a chair against the table."

"Tapping two fingers against the mouthpiece, sucking on a lollipop, or eating a peach also make enjoyable sounds," he says.

Perhaps the most telling comment was from a suprisingly sexy red-headed operator who emphasises the importance of listening to men without the judgment so many of us attach to visuals.

"I learned to listen to men in a deeper way," she says, "tuning into men's voices, instead of getting caught up on their looks, was the same as a person suddenly going blind, only to find their other senses enhanced."

"I think if all women did phone sex before they lost their virginity, they would make much better choices," she says.

The inclusion of several male operators who cater to female customers, also illustrates that women benefit from this type of listening.

As I've written in previous posts, really listening is one of the hardest acts we can commit to because most of us do it without any integrity.

In the majority of conversations the average person simply waits for their turn to speak, instead of concentrating on what's really being said to them and, as such, misses the gold of human interaction.

As one young male operator says: "We as people should learn to talk and listen to our neighbors and share our inner light."

"I wish the world was run by phone sex operators," he says.

 

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