California Kid from Stripper
Entertainment
Taking it off can be a dangerous job.
By Danielle Egan
Published: January 6, 2006 http://thetyee.ca/
Right now, the bar's empty, and Casey, Hunter and Dimitrius are hydrating
themselves for the night's festivities, which typically involve dancing around
in costumes -- firemen and cops are the most popular -- dry-humping the odd
bride-to-be, perhaps some tea-bagging (industry speak for dipping their crotches
over women's faces in 69 position) and certainly lots of MC-encouraged, two-way
groping, since audience participation is a prerequisite of any Ladies Night.
These guys might go home with a phone number, some scratches and even bites.
Worst case scenario, a bruised ego since women have been known to boo, throw ice
or, the ultimate insult, walk right out the door mid-show.
"Ladies love a man with a long hose," says Hunter about the wild
popularity of the fireman costume. Tonight, these guys are thinking outside the
box. Casey's wearing his French waiter get-up, Dimitrius is wearing an authentic
French Foreign Legion uniform he picked up at a local surplus military store and
Hunter is playing Don Juan. How do they avoid showing up with the same outfit?
"We phone each other beforehand," says 22-year-old Dimitrius, a
university marketing student by day, stripper these past six months and the
rookie in the bunch.
'To the lions'
"I won't take off my g-string, since I'm the first act," says
Dimitrius.
"That's what happens when you have a small penis," responds Hunter.
I don't know if he's joking, but according to their manager Mark Aylott of Stripper
Entertainment (which has the largest supply of male strippers in Western
Canada and supplies men to almost every Ladies Night, stagette or birthday
surprise party in town), "Penis size isn't that important. Really big ones
are only good for novelty. We had one guy who was half penis. He jumped around
for awhile and then brought his third leg out. Half the crowd ran for the door.
Anyway, most dancers tie off with a cock ring because blood goes elsewhere when
you're dancing, like coming out of a shower, which isn't good."
Aylott, a former stripper himself, gets about six applications from would-be
male strippers per month. He looks for a toned body and good dance moves, first
and foremost, but will help recruits with choreography and costumes. If they
pass the basics, Aylott "throws them to the lions" at one of the
city's many Ladies Nights. "The money's pretty good, [$175 for club gigs
and $200 for private parties] but 15 minutes is a long time to be dancing with
your dangler out in front of a crowd of women," says Aylott. Seventy-five
percent can't hack it, so Stripper Entertainment is always hiring.
These guys are a rare breed and don't seem nervous. "You just have to do
what the girls like and what touches your heart," says Dimitrius. Other
strippers I've met admit it can be nerve-racking going in front of 100 women
chanting 'Penis! Penis!' Then, when the clothes come off, the women might giggle
and point. The men say standing at attention in such an environment can be a
challenge.
'I was a geek'
"Nakedness creates a whole different atmosphere and it takes a lot to
impress girls," said Diamond via cell phone, en route to a tour of duty in
the Interior. "They often grope you like crazy. I feel like a piece of
meat, but it's part of the job." Diamond is one of Stripper's most
requested men and, in the busy summer season, he can work up to five gigs a
night, including private stagettes and club events. He got into stripping after
dropping out of the University of Victoria's engineering program. "You tend
to do anything when you're broke. Of course you have to invest. I spend a lot of
money on costumes, props, promotions. I work out every day."
Male strippers also have to maintain professionalism in the face of drunk,
horny women. "Propositions happen a lot, almost every day," in Diamond
World. "I just smile and laugh and try to keep it professional. Sometimes
it's the bride-to-be but most cases it's an invited guest, sometimes the
mother-in-law. I'm not a cocky person. I was a geek in school so positive
comments are a shock. It does nothing to my ego."
Twenty five-year-old California Kid, another top-requested stripper and
part-time actor who does "Vegas-style" shows and even lights himself
on fire, said, "I got a lot of propositions for sex and whatnot in my
younger days and I fell for that. But now I'm married and recognize the look in
their eyes. Girls are worse than men, more piggish. They think they can grab you
and get anything from you. I just think, 'I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot
poll.' But it's kinda flattering."
Interactive burlesque
Casey shrugs his shoulders when I mention all of this. "Stripping has
helped me understand women better and respect them more." Soon enough, he's
on stage with a bride-to-be from Seattle pinned to the stage with her feet up
around her ears as he thrusts into her backside to the beat of Ricky Martin.
He's already laid his hands on about half the women perched on their barstools
around Au Bar's stage, recently elevated just for Ladies Night. While women
stripper clubs have strict no touching policies and the mood is typically like
the waiting room of some hot sexy dentist, Ladies Nights tend towards
interactive burlesque with the women as much prop as patron.
Casey doesn't actually take it all off, but, instead, gives us the odd peak,
also known as 'the meat puppet show.' Bride-to-be Karen is fine with that.
"I'd rather they didn't get naked," says the nurse, whose friends
forced her into a slutty nurse's uniform for tonight's stagette. "I see
penises every day at work. Male bodies are functional. I'm thinking, 'Just put
it away.'" On the other side of the tracks, at a Chicago's Tonight Ladies
Night, another bride-to-be said practically the same thing to me early in the
evening. By the end of the show, she was dirty dancing with one of the strippers
and had taken up smoking again.
'Buck naked'
But when I poll other Au Bar patrons, most agree with Karen. Only one woman
admits she's here first and foremost to look at buck-naked men.
"Naked men aren't that aesthetically pleasing, especially dancing, you
look pretty stupid," according to Adrian, by far Stripper's most requested
male dancer. "Women are here to have fun with their friends and you're the
side show," says the 26-year-old in his final year of finance at a local
university who likes to do Matrix-style shows and often appropriately opens with
Metallica's "Master Of Puppets." Adrian does admit that female
sexuality is very complex and he's also seen patrons lapse into unladylike
behaviour when faced with thrusting bulging sequined thongs. "They don't
understand that when the show's over, in our minds, we're done. They'll slap you
on the ass. Some girls are mean. You wonder, 'Are they laughing with me or at
me?'"
It's hard to tell who's the butt of the joke by the time Hunter, in black
cape and mask, pulls out his penis and cleans a woman's glasses off with it. Her
face turns purple and when he hands her glasses back, she doesn't return them to
her face. Of course, she doesn't really need them since we rarely get a clear
shot of Hunter's assets. No wonder he gets chased out of bars.
Mixed messages
I feel a bit ripped off and confused by all the mixed messages. How does a
straight woman maintain her sex drive if she doesn't think the male body is fun
to look at, lust over and, perhaps, even objectify occasionally?
Much of human brain is associated with vision, but women tend to link stimuli
across both hemispheres, while men compartmentalize. Of course, our brains are
highly adaptable, so it makes me wonder what part does recent socio-economic
culture play in the rarity of full frontal male nudity, even at a peeler show?
One woman yells something over the music about the female drive to
"nest." I guess she didn't receive the news that this "fidelity
for food" equation was recently debunked by anthropologists like Kristen
Hawkes, Stephen Beckerman and Helen Fisher who believe it's little more than
recent cultural hype, and that, traditionally, women are polygamistic both for
breeding and pleasure.
Thinking of naked tribal men dancing around to impress potential suitors, I
wonder if the lack of male full monty in our western culture came out of a
puritanical fear of women's sexuality. Maybe our culture's elite rulers feel
threatened by the effect of less economically powerful men's potentially bigger
penises have on the tribe, but unfortunately there are no studies on this topic.
Backwards night
At any rate, the women at Au Bar Ladies Night seem to have reverted to a
pubescent state of repressed sexuality, cheering on demand when the MC says,
'Ladies, you're gonna see some peepees!" At some Ladies Nights, there are
even prize-winning games between sets like Throw The Hoop on the Giant
Inflatable Penis!
Yet, for brief moments, usually as the "meat-puppet show" begins, I
can see this glimmer of wanton lust sweep across the women's disco-ball speckled
faces. The tension in the air becomes palpable, much like any stripper club.
Then, they typically lapse back into giggling, pointing and letting Hunter tuck
pink "Stripper Bucks" into their cleavage then remove them with his
teeth while mugging for their friend's camera.
Everything seems backwards at Ladies Night. Meanwhile, the male strippers
certainly look attentive but, as with women strippers, sex tends to be the last
thing on their minds as they navigate the tough terrain of "naked
land." Only careful choreography allows them to take their pants off at
just the right moment in "Can't Touch This," or risk a wardrobe
malfunction. "My mind is always on what you're going to do next," said
Adrian. "You have to be focused. It's tough."
Because of this, Ladies Nights are sometimes like the Gong Show. Aylott has
been known to get out the proverbial giant hook and "yank guys of the
stage. One guy was almost translucent, blinding white. His prop was his mountain
bike, so he did all these jumping tricks, then he just swayed around. Women
pointed and laughed. One guy said he was 212 pounds and ripped. He showed up at
the club in leather bondage gear. I said, 'You look fat!' He unzipped and he was
fat. I said, 'You just have to go away," so he waddled off. We're cruel
humans at the office, too. The bad videos get lots of play. Sometimes they get
taken home for private viewings."
'You're on your own'
In case you men are thinking career move, Aylott advises wannabes to
"Try to be sexy but don't do anything outside your comfort zone which could
cause injury or make you feel like a big tool. You have to be committed."
And willing to take "the worst kind of debauchery, particularly with the
fundraiser set; the dancers literally get the clothes ripped off their bodies.
One guy showed me the bite marks on his ass and said, 'I'm conflicted. On the
one hand, they were harassing me, on the other hand they were really hot.'"
Diamond said his ass is bitten "a lot." Add sexual propositions to
the mix and it's no wonder all of tonight's dancers are presently single.
"There's a lot of discrimination out there," says Dimitrius. "No
girls are trying to rescue us," according to Adrian, who says he'd
sometimes like "more security. Doormen are watching, but essentially,
you're on your own."
Even if these guys find a girlfriend, jealousy sometimes rears its head.
"It's hard on relationships when 15 women proposition them in one
night," says Aylott, adding, "We're not an escort agency. What they do
on their own time is none of my business."
Hunter wraps up his set with one last peak, demurely picks up his pile of
clothes and tiptoes barefoot back to the men's bathroom to change. Karen remains
unimpressed and just wants to get on the dance floor. Casey and Dimitrius, now
in black street clothes, do the obligatory post-show flirting, readying for
attitude from the impending rush of male patrons lined up outside; sometimes
jealous boyfriends want to fight the strippers or even smash strippers' car
windows. But first, the MC gives out door prizes as if we're sugar-rushing
teenyboppers who came here for loot bags, not naked men.
Danielle Egan is a Vancouver-based writer
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